Woman shares her mom’s pointless ‘recipe’ for homemade bread and people are amused

Woman shares her mom’s pointless ‘recipe’ for homemade bread and people are amused

It seems that growing up there is a recipe or two that sticks in our minds. It’s one of those things where, as a kid, you don’t automatically think to ask what it could be, since we assume it will always be around. It could be anything from a cake recipe to your favorite dinner. However, for one woman, it was a bread recipe she wanted to recreate with a little help from her mom.

The trouble is, once people perfect a recipe, they tend not to need to follow one after a while. After making flapjacks a hundred times, you probably start to instinctively know what you have to do. Eventually, you don’t even need to measure it, knowing exactly what it looks like. This can cause some problems if you’re trying to convey the recipe to someone else since it practically makes it impossible to replicate.

A crazy conversation

One Twitter user, known as Krista D. Ball, shared a conversation that she had with her mom while she was trying to discover a recipe. The whole thing is a whirlwind of a conversation with some of the most unlikely replies. It started with Krista assuring the world that everything she is saying is true and completely unexaggerated. It’s probably easier to believe it when you’ve experienced something similar, and it seems that many people have.

However, Krista starts by saying that, in her hometown of Newfoundland, homemade bread is a normal, everyday thing. Of course, for many households, it’s something you can easily purchase from the supermarket rather than trying to make it all the time at home. With this in mind, it makes sense that she was asking for the recipe because it’s something they do all the time where she comes from.

Recipes are pointless

Everyone has their own views when it comes to baking and cooking. Even if you’re not an avid cook, there will be some things that you do in a personal way. Usually, this is because you’ve been taught this way or picked it up off someone else. Well, this daughter was talking to her mother to try and find out this particular recipe she loves, but she wasn’t getting very far.

Recipes are pointless

According to Krista, no one believes in recipes, at least not where she’s from or within her household. This means people have to pick the recipes up from practice as opposed to instructions and measurements. Apparently, it’s been so tough getting the recipe out of her mom that this is the fifth time she has tried asking. Well, this time would certainly change things.

Just a small batch

It’s kind of crazy, when you really get down to it, how differently people see things. Krista asked her mom how you make a small batch of bread. Of course, most people would probably only be looking to make one loaf, if they were trying a recipe out for the first time. However, Krista’s mom seems to think a small batch consists of six entire loaves.

Of course, if you were making six loaves back to back, you’d probably remember the recipe at least for a little while, after being shown what to do each time. After this, Krista’s mom goes on to say she’ll need a bag of flour. Specifically the ‘big’ bag as opposed to the ‘big, big’ bag, but not the small one either. Just to be clear.

Trying to quantify

Of course, what’s happening is essentially a daughter trying to work out her mother’s recipe by guesswork and estimation, which is a tough task to set. Anyway, it’s clear her mother has become very used to her local stores, which makes a lot of sense If you stay somewhere long enough then you find yourself getting the same stuff each time.

Trying to quantify

If Krista’s mom has used the same brand of flour for years, it might not come in the same sized bags as the usual stuff in Alberta, where Krista lives. This makes it tougher for her to guess, but she gives it a good go. They managed to uncover a portion of the recipe, which is the need for some of the bag of flour, but not all of it. Got it. What next?

More than double the sugar than salt

This almost seems like we’re getting somewhere with this recipe, as we’ve added a few more ingredients and kind of quantified parts of it. However, it doesn’t make total sense. The next part of the recipe is adding more than double the sugar than salt, but to do this, you need to know how much salt you need first.

The answer to this was to pour it in your hand, and that will give you the salt measurement, and that’s what you need to double and a bit. Since everyone’s hand is different, it makes it hard to judge how much of your hand you’re supposed to fill, but according to Krista’s mom, it just needs to go in her hand. The next part is hilarious.

It’s all about that yeast

For many bread recipes, you’ve got to get the yeast right, whether it’s the type of yeast or quantity, since it seems to come in a variety of ways. So, Krista enquired about this issue; what about the yeast? Well, according to her mom, she needs a pack, as you had probably guessed.

It’s all about that yeast

She clarified if that would only be one pack, but naturally, the answer was one three pack. This probably sounds quite normal if you have never made bread before, but it was about to get a bit weirder.

One three pack, but not three

So you might be thinking that she needs three packs at this point, but no, that’s too much! While this doesn’t make a lot of sense, Krista goes along with it. So, what’s next on this wild sort-of recipe?

One three pack, but not three

Krista asks her mom what else she needs to put in, since we’re at the bare bones of it right now. Perhaps she was also trying to find a secret ingredient that gave the bread it’s delicious flavor.

Adding in the next ingredient

Of course, things are going okay; this is probably the most she’s ever coherently got out of her mom when it comes to this recipe. Also, she’s perhaps taking much more notice now than she may have been before.

Adding in the next ingredient

While she hasn’t got any proper measurements, it seems reasonable to think that she might be able to get away with her mom’s recommendations. After all, many recipes differ and, as long as you’re within the rough measurements, then it shouldn’t make a massive difference to how edible it is.

Making the milk perfect

Many bread recipes suggest using water as a liquid to bind the ingredients together. However, a simple tip and trick suggests exchanging much of the water for milk instead. This is because milk is far sweeter than water, and can make the loaf far more tender and sweeter.

Making the milk perfect

So, in this particular recipe of madness, how much milk should be added? After all, this is something that could make or break an entire recipe, although some would argue every ingredient needs to be perfectly measured.

It boils down to this

While she’s not literally going to boil the milk, according to Krista’s mom, she needs to heat the milk up in order for it to work in this recipe. Or, for it to at least taste similar to the one her mom makes.

It boils down to this

For this one, there is a measuring guide, but it’s a very peculiar one. These days there are so many measuring implements, it’s hard to know which ones are best, but it seems this mom had something of her own in mind.

Not any old mug

It’s not uncommon to hear a recipe include something that is measured in cups: one cup of stock, one cup of water, or in this case, six cups of warm milk. But wait, it’s not the usual cup measurement you’re probably thinking of.

Not any old mug

Instead it’s using one mug in particular, and there’s no guessing which one it is, not without the help of mom. So, specifically, Krista needs to measure six cups of milk in the glass mug that her dad likes…

To water or not to water

Milk is mostly more expensive than water, which makes sense, and if you’re using six cups of milk and making bucket loads of bread, then it can probably get a bit costly.

To water or not to water

This mom says you can substitute a bit of milk with water if need be, particularly if it gets too expensive. This doesn’t seem to worry Krista, so she affirms that she just needs milk. However, the answer isn’t quite what she thought she was going to get.

Water for the yeast, of course

Most recipes are done in specific steps, and even if you have it all up there in your head, there is generally a routine you follow. This means the mom was probably separating the recipe steps in her mind, but this ended up getting a little confusing.

This ended up highlighting that, while you can have a bit of water in your milk quantities, you still need water for the yeast, even if you only have milk. Confusing, but we kinda get it.

A forgotten ingredient

It seems fair that trying to remember a recipe step by step is going to be tough, even if you have done it a hundred times. It probably means that a few bits are going to be forgotten along the way.

A forgotten ingredient

So, it seems the next part to this recipe is to make a well in the flour and pour all the liquid in, along with melted butter. Of course, melted butter hadn’t been mentioned before now, which added a whole new aspect to this recipe.

It’s melted, so it doesn’t count

Krista enquires about the butter, but her mom simply replies with ‘it’s melted’ as if that somehow makes a difference to her not mentioning it before. This then leads to the most obvious question, which is, how much does she need to put into the recipe, whether it’s melted or not?

It’s melted, so it doesn’t count

Well, the technical answer was ‘just a bit,’ which, of course, translates to just ‘a few spoonfuls’. This is at least a bit more information to go by since you can never be totally exact with butter.

The inner chef comes out

When you have been doing this for a long time, you start to develop personal opinions about other people’s methods, or recommendations. It seems that Krista’s mom has some seriously deep feelings when it comes to double rising bread.

The inner chef comes out

All this means is letting it rise twice, and there may be a few benefits to either method, depending on which side you’re on. It seems shocking that people might argue over whether bread dough needs to rise more than once, but the debate continues on.

So, what’s next?

This elaborate recipe must surely be coming to an end? Well, now it’s time to find out what it needs to be baked on. When Krista asked this question, it seemed to confuse her mom, as it is evident that bread needed baking on pans.

So, what’s next?

Well, apparently it seems she meant temperature. Usually, there’s a recommended temperature since many things bake or cook better at different temperatures. For this recipe, the correct temperature is ‘not too hot.’ Perfect.

Trial and error

This is something Krista clearly wants to get right, so she goes through a few options with her mom. She started off at 400 as a pretty standard guess, but that was too hot for the bread, although her mom didn’t offer a rough temperature.

Eventually, they agree on 350, which seems to satisfy the mom too. It seems they’re finally getting somewhere! The final question, and possibly the most important, was soon to come.

It’s only a matter of time

So, last but not least, how long does this entire thing need cooking for? Well, until it’s baked of course! Although, most people don’t want to sit in front of their oven, staring as bread bakes.

Well, it depends how full the oven is too, according to her mom, after all, they have planned for six entire loaves of bread as a small batch. While this might be a little bit vague, perhaps Krista might have to just spend some time in front of that oven of hers.

Tips and Tricks

The final instruction Krista’s mom gives her is to make sure that she rubs butter all over it before letting it cool. Sounds delicious. The final words were ‘it’s not hard,’ but to everyone else, it probably sounds like a crazy process!

Tips and Tricks

Krista explained this too, describing it as like putting together a nuclear bomb. We don’t disagree since the process seems kind of crazy when you see the way it’s been described.

People can relate

It doesn’t seem to be something that only Krista has experienced since the thread received so many replies from people who could relate. There are so many people who have claimed they have had similar experiences.

People can relate

One user said they had basically had the same conversation with their nan, except it was about Irish soda bread instead. It seems there are quite a few people who have tried getting recipes from their relatives with little to moderate success.

A change in the way we bake

Many users have had hilarious responses, but they also say how they’re unable to replicate the dishes because they don’t have a recipe. Instead, people seemed to be able to cook without a recipe book and just chuck everything in without looking.

A change in the way we bake

Many people these days tend to use recipe books, so it probably seems strange to have that all stored in the back of the mind. However, with any luck, Krista was successful and can now continue to make the recipe for anyone she wants.

Learning the easy way

While Krista’s recipe might have been hard to follow for some, one person on Twitter had a much easier time learning to bake bread. Steven said he learned from his father in the summer of that year, but he didn’t have to go through the extensive trial and error stage.

Learning the easy way

Instead, he thought his father’s recipe was more straightforward. That didn’t stop Steven finding this baking story hilarious though, as he commented to let Krista know his thoughts on her bread.

At least there was a recipe

While Krista’s method might have been a little convoluted, at least she was able to pass on her recipe. Jill commented that she had tried to get her mother’s dressing recipe when she was terminally ill, only to discover that there was no recipe.

At least there was a recipe

Instead, her mom used her cooking knowledge and experience to create it afresh every time. Now Jill is going to have to go through a lengthy scientific process of reverse engineering her mom’s recipe by trying everything in the pantry together.

Taste by text?

When you’re dealing with recipes that rely on taste and memory, it can be hard to pass them on. It becomes particularly tricky when you’re unable to create the recipe with the person you’re giving it to, like a brother who lives in another city.

Taste by text?

This woman has found it very difficult to pass on her mother’s recipe since she passed away as she is meant to refine by taste. Without her mouth in the same room as her brother’s cooking, how is she supposed to tell him what to do?

Thoughts from a professional

One woman responded to Krista’s bit of home baking to share her horror at the recipe. For many, baking is a precise art form that requires accurate measurements of ingredients. This professional baker didn’t seem to have much comprehension for Krista’s mom’s haphazard approach to baking bread.

Thoughts from a professional

They say the proof is in the eating though, so maybe if the professional gave the recipe a shot, she might be surprised by the outcome. That is, if the baker was even able to follow it.

What family recipe?

At least Krista has some form of recipe she can pass down to future generations of her family. This Twitter user used to love their grandpa’s pierogies and wanted him to teach them how to make the dough.

What family recipe?

After arranging a very early start, they made it to their ‘bubba’s’ house ready to learn how to make this famous dough. They were disappointed to learn that not only were the pierogies already sitting on the table, but their ‘bubba’ wasn’t even making them.

The magic of family recipes

There is no wonder so many could relate to, and were amused by, Krista’s story. Food in general, and especially the home-cooked meals from our childhood, carry special value. No matter how many fancy restaurants you try as an adult, nothing seems to beat the recipes of parents and grandparents.

The magic of family recipes

So how come the younger generations struggle so much to replicate the delicious meals from previous generations? It seems as if many today struggle to get even the simplest cooking right.

Chocolate chip cookies

Even making something as simple as chocolate chip cookies can be a struggle, as one anonymous poster had experienced. There are countless of recipes online, and most mothers or grandmothers have several tried and true recipes to use. But this girl’s problems had more to do with the execution.

Chocolate chip cookies

Not everything can be passed down through a recipe, the skills needed to tell if a cake is ready or a dough is moist enough simply comes with practice. But this girl was completely new at baking, and figured – how hard can it be?

A good start

She had to bake the cookies as they were doing a cookie exchange at work, and she did get the first parts right. She turned on the oven and measured out all the needed ingredients. But when mixing it all up in a mixer – things started going bad.

A good start

Noticing the cocoa powder was not mixing well with the rest of the ingredients, she decided to turn up the speed. It’s unfortunate her mother or grandmother was nowhere near, as they would have explained that is the worst thing to do in that situation.

The first mistake

Once the speed of the mixer increased, the unintegrated cocoa powder exploded and the chocolaty dark dust immediately covered the entire kitchen – and the girl herself. Even her dogs got in on the party as they rushed into the kitchen trying to lick it all up, as the poor woman did her best to get them out.

The first mistake

And the disastrous cookie baking session was not over yet. After cleaning the whole mess up she decided to carry on despite the initial problems.

It gets worse

Finally finishing the batter, forming the cookies on a baking sheet and getting them into the oven – it seemed like the coast was clear. What else could go wrong. Well, the poster went on to describe how as it was time to take the finished cookies out of the oven, she made another mistake.

It gets worse

Not noticing the oven mitt had a hole in it, she burned herself as she was taking the cookies out and as a result flipped the whole baking tray. The cookies ended up on the floor, where her dogs ate most. Safe to say not everyone is made to bake, no matter how clear the recipe instructions.